I'm very aware of one painful fact at this moment; I've been changing, and nobody has noticed. It's as if I'm still a child, surrounded by joyful people, complimenting me on my smile, telling me how adorable I am.
It's shocking to realize that no one has payed attention to you enough to know your likes, dislikes, personality and problems.
I still wait for that spark, that moment where everything changes in your life, and suddenly everybody realizes who you are, like what happens in the movies. Movies aren't reality, though, and again, I should get my head out of the clouds.
With everything that's been happening lately, I'm really having a dreadful time. Today, I got home and stared at my wrists for a long time. It's not like me to cry, and I can't really. I can't cry when I'm sad or frustrated, but I wanted to cry, I wanted to let everything out, all the emotion I've been keeping in.
I knew a knife would scar, so I took a rubber band and snapped it onto my wrist until they were growing into red welts.
I cried my eyes out until I could cry anymore.
"Do you want people to believe good of you? Don't speak."
-Blaize Pascal
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